mosquito bites

i don't know what it is but mosquitoes love me... i must have good blood... ha ha... who knows. but, as long as i can remember i have always been eaten up by those buzzing little bugs. this weekend we went camping with the swalves over at illinois state beach. i was so excited going into the weekend because i had not been camping in a long time and i really miss having that be a part of every summer. when i grew up we went camping at least once, if not twice, during the summer. some of my best memories are from those week long camping trips that we took with friends that were like family. so... needless to say i was excited. we had a great time... shawn and i biked a lot by the lake and it was oh so beautiful... the four of us made some fantastic food, individually and collectively... we loved coming up with great new food inventions over the camp fire... and it was just plain old good time with friends. that is something i really love about camping - everyone just kinda hangs out and good conversations are always had. so of course, it was a great weekend, only to be dampered by the amount of mosquito bites i received. i don't know why i wasn't expecting it, but they came and they came full force this time... the other thing is that i think i might have some kind of allergic reaction cause the bites get HUGE and i mean HUGE. and oh man, so itchy. like SO itchy. :) so one night i'm lying awake in our tent not sleeping because my whole body is covered with massive burning bites. i'm laying there getting frustrated and complaining in my head about how annoying this is and why can't i just go camping and not get bit and on and on and on... so silly, yes i know, but i do love my sleep and i was quite uncomfortable (they still are, i'm icing them right now... for real, it's crazy!:). then something stopped my rambling, complaining mind for a bit and made me look at how silly i was being... then i got to thinking that i am not deserving of camping without bites... really i'm not deserving of a great weekend with friends... God has nothing to owe me... not comfort... not a weekend away... not beautiful creation to ride through on my bike... not good friends... not a committed and loving husband... i had this reality check in my stupid complaining mood and it made me think about this concept outside of just the situation that i was in. GOD OWES ME NOTHING. when i am given anything that i enjoy it is a gift from Him. going back to the camping aspect of it all, i love our tent. i know it's kinda silly, but i really do. it's cute and the perfect size and i love that it is blue and green! i had this thought on my mosquito bite night that even our tent is a gift from God. we got this great deal on it right before we got married and i know that God knows me and the things that i enjoy and that i LOVE CAMPING... and so we found this tent. i want to be aware of the small things that God gifts my life with... like i said i really believe that anything that is enjoyable, anything that brings happiness, comfort, really any adjective that is positive falls into this... all these are from my God who loves me and knows me personally. and the kicker is that i am not deserving of any of it... i have no right to anything good or the absence of anything bad.

shawn was talking to me today about how he wants to be more aware of Jesus, to love Him more and to appreciate what He has done for us. i think that this is a huge way how Jesus comes and affects our daily and everyday lives. without Jesus we would not be given these things in our lives that we enjoy, right... i mean, these are given out of the grace of God and His love for us... this grace is given to us because Jesus took what we should have had... i want to think about Jesus everytime something big or little affects my life in a positive way... and i want to think about Jesus when i am frustrated and feel like i am deserving of more... i have no right to go there. and i think "going there" cheapens what Jesus has done... maybe cheapens is not even a strong enough word... it really throws His sacrifice to the side... like He did this, but i still should be comfortable or i shouldn't have to deal with this... i dunno... it just seems like i am not fully appreciating Him, or having any appreciation at all, in those moments. I don't want to be that person.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17

EVERY GOOD GIFT... i think every is pretty all inclusive right? i want to rejoice every day in my Savior who loves me, who died for me, and who knows me so well to gift my life with things that bring me joy.